i'm SOOOO sadd ): the flowers withered! the flowers from my aunt's bouquet of flowers on her wedding day. the happy moment when i caught the flowers she threw ((: actually more than happy, exhilarated! sugar-rushing good! and i finally understood how receptionist at wedding banquet feels. what a chaotic mad rush when people stream in one after another. oh but it feels absolutely cool! what an experience ((:

hmm. i havent been attending fellowship since jan?? wow! time for reflections. most of my days are spent with my two besties (: happy yet it's a different kind of happy. like something's missing somehow.

backsliding seems to be eating into me. why? that i feel like retreating back into my shell and not come out. but this is not the solution.