Daddy Daddy Daddy,
my heart feels so disturbed that i want to seek peace and calm from You, to draw strength from my One and Only, You. i feel abit useless; like my presence is so easily replaced. why? 7years of friendship suddenly feels so rocky to me. these were my important people once, now it feels like everyone has moved on. i became only a chapter, and so easily forgotten, my presence is so easily omitted. why Daddy? please deliver me from this.

though i understand that You put me through this only to grow stronger. but i cant help to feel disturbed. Daddy, can i pray to be important in their lives and that my presence is important and not just a chapter in a book? why they can go on and meet up without my presence yet when one of them isnt free, i choose to have a time when all of us can meet up. i value every single one's presence. but it seems like, over the years, this doesnt matter anymore. of cuz i have my fault. i've never known they went for a trip if not for someone else. it saddens me. and of cuz with my limitations, i can never go for a trip. this is frustrating. i never get to share the happy times and bonding session. but Daddy, i bear it all this while. i listened to You and tried to let go but it's so hard. the experience that i cannot share, how frustrating it is to me. but i MUST learn to embrace it. yes i must.

sighs ):